Manikins

Here's my big question:

Why do manikins have nipples?

They don't need them. The only thing they do is sit there, hard as a rock, and make manikins look very very cold. Because they are solid bras don't contain or restrain them, and they just create an unsightly effect.

The solution: no nipples on manikins.
Clothes would look better, and manikins would feel less self conscious.
The only downside is for middle school boys who would have less to snicker about when their mom makes them go shopping.

Childhood dreams

When I was a kid (up to pretty recently actually) I thought that I would really like to be in the FBI or do what they do on CSI. I've always really liked those crime/catching killers type of shows. I thought it would be exciting and exhilarating to risk my life like that. I thought that facing death like that would make me feel invincible. I wanted to be that hero; solve the puzzle and bring bad guys to justice. 

Tonight I was watching Criminal Minds (in the dark, by myself of course) and it clicked: I could never do what those people do. It would be such a sad life. On television the good people live and the bad guys get caught, but their work controls the agent's lives. Not to mention that in reality good people die. I would lie in bed at night thinking about all the people that died, and how I should have saved them. Emotionally I couldn't do it. It would make me too sad. I almost started crying while watching that show tonight. And what about a family? I couldn't have the family that I want if I was always trying to catch bad guys, never knowing when or if I would come home. 

So, kudos to all the people who do protect us and catch killers. You have a hard job, too hard for me. 

A blast from the past: I didn't always hate camo

As everyone knows, I hate camo (the camouflage pattern) unless you are hunting or in the armed forces. But, confession time: I didn't always.
In the sixth grade I had this long sleeve camo shirt with a big red sparkly  star right in the middle of it. I thought it was cute because I was 12 and it was tight. So this one time my brother, Tyler, and I walked to the Circle K gas station on the corner. I was wearing my 'cute' camo shirt. Then, as we were buying whatever we were buying, the lady at the counter says, "now you boys have a great day!"
From that day forth I have hated camo.

Things I forgot

I've been home in the AZ for a couple of days now and it makes me remember how many things I've forgotten. Maybe 'forgot' isn't the right word... I remember things that I don't think about when I'm away. I think about high school a lot more, and the things that happened back then.
I play the 'what-if' game in my head. It makes me laugh. Laugh and wonder. In every ridiculous 'what-if' situation there's a little truth, a little possibility of what could have been. I wonder if things would be any different now if I could go back and change little things. If I had done all the things I said I wanted to do before I left... If I had left nothing unsaid...
The long and short of it (where did that saying even come from?) is that it really doesn't matter. I mean I guess I could go back and say, "oh hey, in high school I really wanted to tell you ____, but I didn't, so I'm telling you 2 years later when it doesn't really matter. I'm glad this isn't awkward. Kbye!" But somehow I don't think that would be effective in any way.

change and giving thanks

Recently I've been feeling... I think "shaky" is the best way to put it. Not shaky like a frail old lady who might fall over & break her hip, but shaky like less sure about things than usual. It may just be because I'm not going home for Thanksgiving & I miss my family, but I've just been a little nostalgic. Maybe it's because I can feel things changing &, as much as I like change, I don't like change that I don't dictate (it's a bit of a control thing). Not to mention the school stresses that are always at the back of my mind.
Anyway, what I've decided to do is make a list of some of the things that I love and am thankful for, because I know that I wouldn't have any of them without change.
I am thankful for/love:
-My family, and that they love me enough to miss me.
-All of the wonderful relationships that I have made since coming to Loma, they are better than I could have ever imagined.
-The friendships that have the stamina to span time and distance and carry on to and through college.
-My best friend Bailey that I love and miss so much; we'll grow old together even if we're apart.
-Point Loma itself. As much as I complain about some things, there's nowhere else I'd rather be.
-Love itself.
There are so many more little things, like scarves, dogs, cuddling, that Marissa isn't super messy, etc that I'm thankful for too.