I've been home in the AZ for a couple of days now and it makes me remember how many things I've forgotten. Maybe 'forgot' isn't the right word... I remember things that I don't think about when I'm away. I think about high school a lot more, and the things that happened back then.
I play the 'what-if' game in my head. It makes me laugh. Laugh and wonder. In every ridiculous 'what-if' situation there's a little truth, a little possibility of what could have been. I wonder if things would be any different now if I could go back and change little things. If I had done all the things I said I wanted to do before I left... If I had left nothing unsaid...
The long and short of it (where did that saying even come from?) is that it really doesn't matter. I mean I guess I could go back and say, "oh hey, in high school I really wanted to tell you ____, but I didn't, so I'm telling you 2 years later when it doesn't really matter. I'm glad this isn't awkward. Kbye!" But somehow I don't think that would be effective in any way.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
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